I don't know why, but I have something of a softspot for this film. This is probably because on the day I went to see it I'd done a four hour exam and could have watched the stupidest, most pathetic excuse for a film imaginable and still enjoyed it. However Star Wars Episode II is what I went to see.
Back in November 1998 there was great excitement, because whenever you went to the Cinema you got to see a preview of Episode I. It looked great and although every kid in Britain was taking the mick out of Yoda for his 'Hate leads to Suffering' monologue, we didn't care. This was going to be our generation's Star Wars and we couldn't wait. Then Episode I came out and though the third highest grossing movie of 1999, nothing could hide the fact that it was a god awful film. Compared to the original trilogy this wasn't so much a case of not being in the same league, but not even ten leagues below. The film had no plot beyond serving as an introduction movie which basically said here are the characters we want you to get excited about. Apart from the Pod Race, the film is good for little more than background noise and for that reason I won't be giving it a review.
However, enough deviation, onto Episode II. When I first saw the trailers for the film, it didn't look as if it would be any better. Then the Sci-Fi channel started showing the music video over and over around April 2002 and it actually managed to make the film look half decent, so I figured I'd go and see it. Now I'm assuming a fair part of the English speaking world has seen this film, so I'll provide only a brief summary of the plot.
Ten years have passed since the events of Episode I and Anakin Skywalker has gone from precocious brat to annoying teenager, though the Force prevents him from getting Acne. Anyway Anakin spends a fair bit of the film whining and bitching about the fact that Obi-Wan doesn't seem to trust him and is holding him back and blah blah blah. Throw in the fact that Count Dooku (played by Christopher Lee, rather than Daffy Duck which might have been more appropriate given the name) is trying to kill Senator Amidala (Natalie Portman doing her best to imitate Princess Leia's strange hairstyles as well as providing a good reason why she'd have her head shaved in V for Vendetta) while poor old Palpatine is pulling the wool over everyone's eyes but still has to wait another three years for his grand finale of enslaving the galaxy, is dealing with some sepratists wanting to break away from the public.
Anyway after a hovercar chase and a lot of CGI action scenes, Anakin, detailed to protect the senator takes her to Tattoine in time to see his mum die and then kill a load of Sandpeople while Obi-Wan gets himself captured on Geonosis, followed shortly thereafter by Anakin and Amidala when they try to rescue him. Palpatine uses the crisis as an excuse to tell Jar Jar Binks (thankfully given a much smaller role in this film than the last one) to give him fancy powers and create a grand army of clones to fight the sepratists.
Samuel L Jackson, completel with novelty purple lightsaber, takes a bunch of Jedi to Geonosis in time to save our moronic trio before Yoda shows up with the clones and brings a whole new meaning to the idea of a mean, green fighting machine. After a big battle with lots of CGI soldiers and what look like six-legged baby AT-ATs, Anakin and Obi-Wan fight Dooku, but since the latter fought the Three Musketeers back when he was French and the galaxy far far away and a long time ago was still ten or so years in the future, he easily beats the two of them, taking Anakin's arm off for good measure.
But before he can escape, Yoda shows up and doing his best Bruce Lee impersonation (everyone in the cinema burst out laughing at that point), he proceeds to jump around the cave they're all in to show he's had his Weetabix that morning while fighting with Dooku, before the latter makes good his escape with the old falling pillar trick. Yoda stops it from crushing Anakin and Obi-wan before grabbing his stick and hobbling along. Sadly there are no Olympic drug testers demanding a urine sample from the little guy at this point. The film then ends with a bunch of Star Destroyers taking off from Coruscant and Anakin and Amidala getting married before the credits start rolling.
So what does this film have to recommend it? Well for starters there's the fact that it's not as bad as Episode I and actually comes with a script where the writers bothered to include a proper storyline which has some nice set pieces. Then of course there's the big battle at the end of the film, which is something Star Wars does pretty well and this one has it all. Huge armies charging into battle, massiver laser beams firing at ships, fantastic dust clouds as ships crash to the surface and a nice little personal dimension to the battle.
A review I read in The Independent when the film came out said Episode II was really a film for kids and kids would love it. Maybe they do, but Adults will be thinking its not as good as the first three, which it isn't, not by a long way. But as an action sci-fi film it delivers enough to be worth watching if you're looking to just relax on the sofa one evening or if you want a modern film that looks a little retro in places, which Episode II with its satelite dish laser beams, smoking rockets and Octopus droids manages in quantites to make any lover of the old Flash Gordon serials a bit teary eyed.
Overall I'm going to be a little generous and give this film minus four out of five because even though I don't think this is a particualrly good film, I've watched it that many times that I still like it and of course, it's better than Episode I. In fact if you're new to the Star Wars saga and I know at least one person who's never seen any of the Star Wars films, then start with Episode II because it really is the first part of Darth Vader's story and with that, I shall end this review.
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