Star Trek V The Final Frontier

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

In terms of quality, Star Trek films tend to be a mixed bunch.  Some are fantastic films, others are the kind that you play when you want background noise while you do something more useful such as reading existenalist philosphy.  The first four films fall into the former category with each one providing a good combination of pace, action, storyline and character arcs.  When they came to number five though, it's almost as if they just couldn't be bothered with quality control.

Star Trek V is notable for two things.  The first is William Shatner was the director, the second is is one of the few times Star Trek has ever commented on Christianity.  Indeed the lack of Christian, or notably religious characters, outside of the series Deep Space Nine, has tended to be one of the defining aspects of Star Trek.  In this film however, not only does it play a central role, but Kirk and co get to meet God.  Well not exactly, but more on that later.

The film starts with some poor sod tending holes in the ground on a godforsaken world called Nimbus III.  Here he meets some chap on horseback who takes away his pain and asks him to join his quest.  The chap is then revealed to be a Vulcan, before the movie cuts to the opening credits complete with the same music used in Star Trek the Motion Picture.  One of the other notable aspects of this film is how mcuh was reused with the corridors and transporter room being a plant straight out of Star Trek The Next Generation.  Anyway once the credits are over and done with we see Kirk climbing up a mountain, only to fall off when he gets spooked by Spock.  Fortunately for both realism and the film, Spock's wearing jet boots (never to be seen again in any form after this movie) and grabs Kirk just both he gets plastic surgery courtesy of slamming into the ground.  After this McCoy has a go at them both before feeding them Whisky flavoured beans.

Cut back to Nimbus III and a cute looking Romulan shows up to cheer up David Warner and Charles Cooper who've been stuck on the stupidly named planet of galactic peace for twenty years and have taken to smoking and drinking.  She's followed shortly there after by the Vulcan and his now army of followers who take Warner, Cooper and cute Romulan hostage before issuing his demands.  Kirk and co are sent out aboard the barely functioning Enterprise A to deal with the Vulcan, who Spock seems to know.

Meanwhile a naughty Klingon called Klaa, having just blown up Pioneer 10, decides to set course for Nimbus III so he can take on the Federation.  The fact that it's Kirk he'll be facing comes as a bonus.  Kirk however, attacks the planet with a raiding party that involves Uhura doing a mature strip-tease/dance of the two feather dusters (it's the 23rd century after all!) before attacking Paradise City on unicorns (yes, the horses have horns) and after shooting most of the people there, Kirk is attacked by a three-breasted catwoman (Total Recall's a better choice if that's what you're looking for) before having phasers and disruptors pointed at him by the hostages.

Now captured, Kirk and Spock find out the Vulcan is Sybok, Spock's half brother.  After nearly getting blown up by Klaa while returning to the Enterprise, Sulu manages to crash the shuttle and everyone gets knocked about.  Kirk and Sybok have a fight, where Sybok beats the crap out of Kirk, before Spock aims a gun at Sybok but doesn't shoot.  Kirk, Spock and McCoy end up in the brig which is apparently escape proof.  Spock tells Kirk just who Sybok is, before Scotty tells them to Stand Back in morse code and blows down the wall.  He then tells them how to send a message to Starfleet Command because Kirk is still a little unsure of the internal geography of his own ship and when they thank says 'I know this ship like the back of my hand'.  He then walks into a bulkhead and knocks himself out.  Kirk and McCoy start climbing up a ladder in a disused turbolift shaft, before Spock shows up with the jet boots.  Sulu meanwhile, having been brainwashed along with Uhura (now reclothed) and Chekhov, has found the unconscious Scotty and sent zealots running around the ship looking for our furtive trio.

When he finds them, Kirk tells Spock to hit the boosters which sends them shooting up the decks of the Enterprise, past Deck 52 twice, all the way to the improbably numbered Deck 78 (the mighty Enterprise D in TNG, a much bigger ship, only managed 42 decks) and from there they head into the nice looking observation lounge (complete with mock ship's wheel) to send off a distress signal.  This is picked up by Klaa and his bird, who does have nice looking muscles, and they decide to follow.  Sybok has found Kirk and co by this point and after doing his 'let go of your pain' trick for Spock and McCoy, takes the Enterprise through the Great Barrier, an energy field around the centre of the galaxy.  Passing through it they find not a super massive black hole but a planet without a star shrouded in blue energy.  

Kirk and co go to the bridge, where Sybok gives them back the ship before the four of them head down to the planet in a shuttle, blue energy fields clearly being completely harmless to Humans and Vulcans.  Once down there they find God, who turns out not to be so much the almighty as a malevolent alien imprisioned there for thousands of years.  As proof that he isn't God, he lightning zaps Kirk and Spock before being distracted by Sybok and killed with a Photon Torpedo!  Only he isn't dead just released and chases Kirk, Spock and McCoy back to the now useless shuttle.  Scotty is able to beam up Spock and McCoy only for the Enterprise to get torpedoed by Klaa before Kirk can be brought up.  

While Spock is using Cooper to negotiate with Klaa, Kirk is being chased by the evil alien and ends up legging it along a rocky hill.  When he reaches the top the Klingons pop up, disruptor blast the alien into oblivion before training their guns on Kirk.  'So it's me you want you Klingon Bastards?  What are you waiting for?' he screams at them before being beamed aboard.  Here two Klingons take him to the bridge, where Klaa apologises to Kirk for attacking the Enterprise.  Kirk's 'what the?' expression perfectly sums just how wrong this film can get, but the next moment Cooper introduces him to their new gunner.  The chair swivels round and there's Spock.  Kirk's so happy he goes to hug him, prompting Spock to say, 'please Captain, not in front of the Klingons'.  Afterwards they all leave together and have a nice drink to celebrate the fact the Klingons didn't blow the Enterprise up before the film ends with Kirk, Spock and McCoy singing around a campfire.

Thus, is the laughable saga of the fifth film, which unsurprisingly was a commercial faliure back in 1989 when it was released and time hasn't done much to improve on that.  I suppose as this was the first Star Trek film I can remember seeing, I've got a soft spot for it, plus the cover artwork on the video was awesome so it's not all bad.  Having watched this film numerous times, it's not all bad and provides quite an entertaining yarn, more because of its faults than in spite of them.  Therefore I'll give Star Trek V a decent minus three out of five because it's half decent but takes itself too seriously to get a higher rating.  One to watch if you're bored late at night or have watched the first four and are looking to see the next six.